Who am I? Well, I’m not a silly pair of Tweedles Official Dalmatian Flower shirt who get all bent out of shape and tied up in knots if you don’t know the proper way to say hello! And I’m certainly not a bunch of snooty flower girls who act like they’re better than everybody else and whose only ambition in life is to look pretty. And I’m not some party animal Mad Hatter who likes to cheat at games and break other people’s things just because he thinks it’s funny. I’m also not a crazy white rabbit who never has time to visit and play and get to know me when all I wanted to do was be his friend. And I’m absolutely, positively, categorically, not a big old nasty Queen of Hearts who bosses people around. Quiet! I’ll tell you who I am. I’m Alice.
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You beasts! But I’m not beaten yet. You’ve won the battle, but Official Dalmatian Flower shirt I’m about to win the wardrobe. My spotty puppy coat is in plain sight and leaving tracks. In a moment I’ll have what I came for, while all of you will end up as sausage meat, alone on some sad, plastic plate. Dead and medium red. No friends, no family, no pulse. Just slapped between two buns, smothered in onions, with fries on the side. Cruella De Vil has the last laugh!” Cruella De Vil, 101 Dalmatians Ah, Salaam and good evening to you worthy friend. Please, please, come closer – Too close, a little too close. There. Welcome to Agrabah. City of mystery, of enchantment and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today, come on down! Heh, heh. Look at this! Yes!