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The academic literature on gifted children knows countless cases of Harry Potter cat Hairy Pawter shirt; be happy that you’re right now in so much discomfort that you’re forced to deal with your predicament. Otherwise, it can only escalate. The problem is made exponentially worse by the fact that the child, who is told they’re gifted or who notices that they find school easy so they don’t have to be told this, learns by implication that they a) are gifted, b) giftedness is a remarkable thing and) they don’t have to do anything to appear remarkable to others. Add in d) they get the most “love” ie praise and adoration when they achieve something “spectacular”; this leads to equating one’s own self-worth with one’s “spectacular achievements” and is presumably why you’re beating yourself up currently.
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It puts you in fear mode; and Harry Potter cat Hairy Pawter shirt, and certainly not when you’re suffering in your own skin, tormented by your own mind. Creativity – I am using the term here loosely, in the sense that most “great achievements” require creativity, because to have a great achievement, it has to be something new and unique, and useful; and pretty much the standard definition of creativity is the ability to come up with something unique and useful. I cannot stress enough how it is impossible to be creative when you’re under stress – whether you’ve got a predator chasing you or whether it is your own negative self-talk doing the chasing.