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There is no doubt that this is about MORE than just Easily distracted by bowling and dogs shirt. You state that you “feel she is discriminating against me” and insist it is an “illness”. This smacks of making excuses and being extremely defensive about your smoking and antagonistic towards your daughter’s decision. Just as YOU had a right to raise your children YOUR way, she has that same right, so get over trying to get support for your position. It’s obvious from the slew of answers you received that even those who are not among the “rabid anti-smoking, it’s a horrible poison, over-the-top danger crowd” still find fault with your attitude and position in the matter.
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I suggest you have an HONEST talk with your Easily distracted by bowling and dogs shirt, asking her to help you change your relationship with her, and simply asking her to be honest and tell you point blank EVERY reason why she doesn’t want you to come visit her daughter. Make sure she completely understands that you can’t examine your own ways and learn a better way, if she doesn’t at least help you see what behavior you may have be doing that has put such a wall between the two of you.